Resource Discovery: Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave

By Kacy Mixon, PhD, LMFT

In recent weeks media has focused on domestic violence and highlighted the pervasiveness of this issue in our society. The increased attention to this topic in the media follows leaked footage of NFL player, Ray Rice, physically abusing his partner in an elevator and his partner, subsequently, defending this incident when career repercussions were placed on him. Reactions to this incident in the media have brought up the poignant question: Why do victims of domestic violence stay?

TEDxRainier 2012, Leslie Morgan Stainer
Steiner, L. M. (2012). Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave. TEDxRainier.

Today’s Resource Discovery features a TEDxRainier video from 2012, titled Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave, in which Leslie Morgan Steiner details her experience with “crazy love”–or being madly in love with someone who abused and threatened her. Steiner is the author of the New York Times best-selling memoir “Crazy Love” as well as the manager of the Washington Post Magazine from 2001 to 2006. In this video,

“Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.”

More insight into Steiner’s experience can be found in her recent article, “He held a gun to my head. I loved him” published in the Washington Post on September 12, 2014.

The influx of media attention surrounding why victims of intimate partner violence stay with their partners has also ignited a new #whyIstayed twitter initiative which has provided a platform for many victims/survivors of domestic violence to tell their story. Below are additional resources (videos, websites) that may provide more insight into this topic:


This post was written by Kacy Mixon, PhD, LMFT. a member of the MFLN Family Development (FD) team which aims to support the development of professionals working with military families. Find out more about the Military Families Learning Network FD concentration on our website, on Facebook, on Twitter, YouTube, and on LinkedIn.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *